Comfortable in my skin

 So about a month ago I was talking with a so called friend, and I was serious when I told her that I have no interest in dating. Not in a bitter angry woman, I can do it all myself tone, but in a I am happy and fulfilled with the way my life is right now tone. I am not starving, my daughter is not starving, I am at a stable job, where I am not bothered by other colleagues, I enjoy my staff, and my patients are appreciative, I have an huge office that I don't have to share, my baby is learning to talk, and doesn't cry everyday when I drop her off at daycare. I enjoy my shopping trips to Wal-mart, and Kroger to re-stock the house. I cook what I want, when I want to. My house stays clean. I sleep well. I enjoy my daughter's company, which means we watch Disney Jr. most nights, while she falls asleep. I am happy being a single mother. It's okay with me that I am not it a romantic relationship with anyone else other than myself. I enjoy wearing my briefs, yes I like the big granny full coverage panties that I can pull up over my naval. I like wearing flats and sneakers and yoga pants and tee shirts.  I like that I am not uncomfortable for the stake of looking good. I like my corn-less bunion less feet, they look wonderful in my flip flops. I like my locs, and not having to change my look to keep anyone interested. I like that I can get my tattoos where I want to without consulting anyone, but God. I like putting my child in her bed after she falls asleep in my bed, and coming back to my bed to go to sleep without having someone tap me on the shoulder for sex. I like the idea of being me, totally. Not having to please my mate, being only concerned with pleasing God, and living life to the fullest. I am at peace with providing (emotionally and financially) for my daughter, and being the best parent I can be. I like my routine. And after explaining this, my so called friend asked me, if I thought I should talk to someone (like a therapist), because after ten years, after all of the up's and downs with dating and failed relationships, I have decided to stop the madness, stop searching for the fairy tale ending, stop searching for Mr. Right, and to not have marriage as a goal on my bucket list. I decided to be happy where I am with myself, by myself (well not really, I have my daughter.) I have the energy to travel (which is what I have always wanted to do), to look forward exploring the world and meeting new people and  learning different perspectives (once I get my child her passport). Well, I haven't spoken to that girl in about two weeks, but since then I have grown to appreciate what people call the little things, which are to me the greatest moments in life. I looked at my daughter, she is almost two years old, and I can still remember her little heart beat on the sonogram at 6 weeks. The heart beat that let me see that she was alive, the image of  the little pinpoint heart beat that motivated me to fight for her life even though my mind (and her father) tried to convince me that she was not a baby yet, and my life would be easier if I killed her. And I look at how much she has grown, and only God truly knows how much joy she has brought to my life. I tell her, even though I am sure that she doesn't understand that I don't know what I would do without her.  I understand what unconditional love is. Becoming a parent taught me that. I understand my parents now more than ever...I cried tears of joy the other night, because at this moment I am peacefully happy, and ever so grateful.