All Day Long

Today started off wonderful, but once this child of mine woke up, she cried all day long. If she was an adult I would have screamed at her, or slapped her, but since she is a child and I know that she doesn't understand, and can't communicate verbally, I just did the best I could do. I fed her, changed her, let her sleep, and attempted to un-braid and re- braid that thick bush of hair. Needless to say she has an afro...lol. Today I needed a nanny or baby sitter, someone to take this child while I just relaxed. My parents get home, and all they can say is "well that's what babies do". It is okay some times, but I need to go back to work, so I can get a break from this at home mom shit. I joked with someone about getting any job, even if it makes just enough to pay the daycare, for the brief break, I am considering it. I am not the kind of person that needs anyone in my face all day, everyday to prove I love them. I prefer if they go away, sometime sort of like a reminder, that no one, except Jesus is going to be with you always. Plus it gives me a chance to miss them.  I need a weekend, just a weekend to myself, a hotel room, a spa, and some room service. No one to remind me of how much weight I've gained since getting pregnant, no one to remind me that I don't have a job, no one vomiting on me, or crying because they are hungry, no new bills in the mail, no one calling me for me to listen to their stories of how great their lives are, or calling to be noisy about what I am doing with my life....just silence. I need for something good to happen. I don't want to hear one more, this too shall pass, or it's going to be okay....I need for it to be okay now, not tomorrow. I need a miracle now. Oh well, enough wining....let me sleep, tomorrow will be better.