Snowed In

I am excited I have tomorrow off of work due to the foot of snow outside of  my window, but truly with a toddler as a single parent I am never "off". I am grateful, but I am tired. I have planned a vacation for October, and I am planning one for May, but I don't have to go anywhere really. I just need a brief break, one evening where I don't have to cook dinner are change diapers, after dealing with  8 hours of whining children and staff at the office, would be nice.  One weekend where I am not washing, folding, vacuuming, braiding hair, where I can go the gym, for as long as I want without someone bothering me mid-work out to come get an unruly toddler. I wish I had the money for a nanny. I love my daughter, she makes me smile so much that sometimes I forget about everything else, but sometimes she gets on my last nerve, and since we moved I know that I am the only constant in her life, and at times I think about how I am going to do this, and then I say to myself if I don't no one else will, so I suck it up and go on auto pilot.  Only with God's help am I able to complete all of my task without going insane.  He is the One constant in my life, I talk to Him more than anyone since we moved, and although I yearn for companionship, with a cute little girl I have to be very careful, and personally, I don't think I am emotionally ready for a romantic, intimate, sexual relationship of any kind. I joke with my friends that it has been two years, and  that at the first chance I get, I'm going to start dating again, and even though I have lost the "baby weight", I just don't feel like trying  anymore . I have reached the no nonsense zone. Yes, I am bitter, scorned, angry. But, most of all exhausted. I am going to enjoy sleeping in tomorrow / today.