Good

So today my baby went to her first birthday party (that was not all family members). She was invited from a girl in daycare class, and she was so excited about it. She talked about it all last night, and all this morning. Since she is an only child (on my side), it was nice to see her interact with someone else her age, and truly enjoy herself. I am happy my baby has at least one friend. While she played in the swimming pool, I had a chance to talk to one of the mothers. And she is a single mom, and her story is similar to mine, but as I listened to her, I was grateful that I didn't have any of the problems she is having. Yes, ideally I want my daughter to be raised in a two parent household, that is still possibility because honey, men are every where here. However since things are not ideal, I think that they are the best that they can be for us. I wanted my child's father to make an effort to be a part of her life, but he is making none at all, and honestly at first it was difficult, and I cursed the day he was born, and wished bad on him, his wife , his family and I hated everything  about him, except our daughter. But, now, I am grateful for his consistency. I don't have to argue with anyone. I don't have to get his permission for anything. I don't have to go to court for anything, get a lawyer, none of that. Now, of course I don't get child support, but I don't get the headache that couple of dollars would bring along with it. At this moment my child  is happy and very spoiled, and even though our situation is not ideal, it is not uncommon either.  I look at her, and see him but the part that I loved about him I also love about her, she is truly  the love of my life. She makes me laugh every day all the time. At the party she cried because she wanted to take her swim cap off, but she has so much hair, and she doesn't like for me comb it so I say no. So she cried and went to one of the other adults at the party, and basically made a scene. I guess I had the "embarrassed " face, so her daycare teacher, asked her to apologize to me for acting like a spoiled brat. Of course being the stubborn child that she is, she did not apologize, she just stop crying changed the subject, and went to play in the pool, with the cap on. Then hours later we are at home, then she says to me, "I am sorry mommy for acting up at the party". I didn't start to apologize to my mother until I became an adult, so I know that is his spirit in her. I am the only one that knows it, but I am at peace with it now.  Things are good, at work I have haters, but I have matured to the point where, I don't care what they do, or say. I am going there, getting my check, and working smart. I am happy, my assistants are happy working with me, and my patients are happy. Everyone else is irrelevant.  I am getting sex on the regular. Let me say that again......I am getting sex on the regular, and that helps relieve a lot of stress. Dick in my life, does matter. It's not a relationship, however, this man is 17 years my senior... he is in great shape(prior military), and experienced, and even though he makes me angry at times, he knows what to say, when to say it, and what to do to keep me satisfied. I may not ever go back to anyone under 40. Yeah I am doing someone's grandfather, and it is good to me. He has money. He is always dressed as man should be, and he is well endowed. My body had to adjust to his size. He is nasty, just like me, and I can do whatever, say whatever while I am with him during our sessions, and there is judgment at all. I am enjoying myself. It is not serous, but I don't want anything serious, right now. I told him that's what I wanted, and he is on board (even though I heard him jokingly say that he wanted to be the only one pleasuring me) during one of our conversations. I heard him, and honestly at this time he is, but I can not guarantee it will stay that way, but for now. I am satisfied with everything. I thank God in Jesus' name for my blessings.