Friend

Okay so for the past couple of weeks, after consistently getting tuned-up, life got in the way. Our timing was off, and with the holiday, my monthly, and travel, we kept missing each other for our weekly session. And of course, me being me, I threw a mobile temper tantrum. Then after that, and no response I decided to try to contact Mr. Always Busy. Honestly, I liked everything about Busy, I am sure I could easily fall for him, because he is my type all the way. And because he is my type, I know that it is best that he is busy, even if he isn't busy. But, I contacted him, just to see if he wanted to get together. Now, I have not seen B in a couple of months, and honestly I talked so much garbage that I did not remember any of the text I sent him. So, of course we made plans and right on queue, he cancelled something about being called in for a mandatory meeting at the last minute, but being the gentleman he is, he apologized. And this time, I did something totally out of character, responded with just one word : Okay. Because in my mind, this happened before, and I didn't get my hopes up too much, plus I knew that Mr. Clean would be back in town soon, so even if it didn't work out with Busy, Mr. Clean would laid it down. I just had to be patient which I am not At All. Needless to say Busy surprised me and showed up the next day. Busy is a LOVER. Very Passionate, he puts his whole being into it. He is concerned about pleasing me first. I know he has to have other women somewhere. He talks during, but honestly it is not that I didn't want to respond, it was just so good to me that I was speechless. I crave him when we are done, and I would get emotionally attached if we were to spend a large amount of time together, but he is really working hard, and I am very single. I was thinking of stopping it with Clean, because he has a busy life too, but in a different way. But, Clean is more available and a freak....and he has a way of making me feel comfortable that Busy doesn't. Clean is very confident (cocky...no pun intended)....and he should be, after all of the shit I talked, I will not do that again. As expected, he put it all the way down, I will "behave". Mr. Clean is a MotherFucker. I have had a couple of "first" with him, and he pleases me too, but with him I can be myself without any judgment.  I like both of them, but honestly, I need some stability. I need a real friend.  Someone I can built a future with. I am thinking about stopping it with Busy and Clean...and just going back to being alone. With Busy, it will be easy because he doesn't really contact me, I have to call him first, plus he is always busy, so if I decide not to call him, then that's it.   But, with Clean its not so easy. I have tried to cut it off at least a couple of  times, and then we are "friends" again. Even when he said that he wanted to stop, I answered with a calm...okay, I  understand, but then he contacted me again. I am not going to lie I like the attention, we have fun together, and I only want one consistent sexual partner. But, the more time I spend with him, the more time I want to spend with him, and that's not going to work. So, of course as a woman you have your ideal man list, and Clean is that for me (of course I can't tell him that), and Busy is my type, and because he is, he doing what my type does, other things. Yep, I need to focus on getting me and my baby a house. I do want a new car, and a new sofa, loveseat, bookshelves, tv stand, and tv. So maybe if  I get a part time job in addition to my full time job, I will not have time to notice the lack, of male companionship in my life, not to mention my daughter's life. I have to do something soon, she is getting older, and I want her to have an example of a good man in her life, so she isn't left searching....like me.