Thinking

So next week, I will have been home exactly one year, as I am I preparing to return back into the work force, and into a place I can call home (with just me and the baby), I am looking forward to a buddy. Ideally I would like a husband, but I don't feel like living with anyone or being in someone's face or them being in my face 24/7, or just putting up with their mess, or even getting to know someone on that personable level. I just want a buddy. I don't have to cook for him or entertain him, wash his clothes, listen to his repressed child hood memories. I don't care about his mental, or emotional issues, I am not trying to be anyone's friend or have anyone new in my life (or my daughter's life), just a really good physical release, then I go home, he goes where ever, and we only call when we are ready for a release again. I am thinking maybe two or three, I have learned to never put all my eggs in one basket, we all go down to the clinic, get that blood work prior too, wrap that thing up, and be adult about this. I don't have time for a relationship with anyone new. I was thinking that my daughter needed a father figure, but I really can't trust anyone with her other than people I already know. She knows and trust my father (her grandfather), so he is doing a fine job. No need to rock that boat.

It's been over a year, and frankly I stopped counting. I was thinking about getting an escort, I know a place where that is legal, but is it worth it to spend the money for the lack of drama? Plus most men my age have been with countless women anyways, so I am not worried about that, but men's egos sometimes get in the way. They like to think that all women want to tie them down, and want a relationship with them. When some times that's not the case at the moment. Right now, I don't have time to devote to building a relationship with a needy man. After I start working and get my child in daycare, I can devote 15- 90 min max, 2 to 3 times a week for sex only the rest of my time is taken. I don't want to know any personal information, other than he is HIV negative, heterosexual, single (not legally married to anyone), has great stamina, impeccable hygiene (oral and all), at least seven inches. (6.5 if its curved), is not a drug addict, not chain smoker , not an alcoholic. Someone to lay pipe and leave once I am done. Oh well, we will see what the future holds, or if I change my mind, and continue on this celibacy road, because there's no drama on this path . It was just a thought.