Uncertain

Last night I got a really bad fever, and all I could think about was, I hope my child doesn't catch this from me, and I wondered why my parents didn't come and at least watch the child for the night as I slept, and tried to get better. This was the one time I needed them to help. After all, this is one of the main reasons I moved here, to get help. Then I started to think, if I'm not getting help now, then why stay. I said when I moved here that I would try to stay as long as I could, but as the six month mark approaches, I am getting restless. I did find a job with the benefits, and stability I want, however the job is on the other side of the country, and I fear that my child will not have the proper cultural influence. The last thing I need is my child to grow up disliking anything about herself because of her environment. Well, I guess that's also a risk if I stay. I wanted to stay here, so at least she would get a chance to know her cousins, and uncles, and aunts, but I need stable work, with benefits. I am so uncertain, I will say a prayer, and ask for guidance, because I know that God is the only one I can depend upon, on that I am certain.