Deshawn....

There was a time when I was in an unhappy relationship, I was being a faithful girlfriend, but I was frustrated because my boyfriend was not being faithful to me. I knew it but since we were a perfect sexual match, I tolerated it. We would have heated arguments, I would take his car and leave him stranded, I would break his cell phone, call his other women, and then we would have these heated make-up sessions, and afterwards we would rest from exhaustion, have a good week and do it all over again the next week. For awhile it was a break from the normal, but after awhile it got old, so one night while I was waiting for my boyfriend to show up (which he never did) I was chatting on-line with a guy named Deshawn. Now Deshawn had a girlfriend, but he was just really cool, and we had somethings in common we both like to play video games, he was from the US (I usually never click with guys from the US) but everything we talked about had a sexual undertone, so we joked about him coming over to "tap that ass" in a game of  whatever video game was hot at the moment. So one day, after all of the bs with the boyfriend, I decided to have Deshawn over for a game, but the batteries of the controller was out ( I was so used to playing alone) as my boyfriend was too old to play with me, and I neglected to change the batteries in the other controller. So I dressed way down, just scrub pants and over sized T, braids in a pony tail, I didn't want to give off any sexual vibes, just a friendly game of ....I don't even remember. So when he arrived he was wearing the classic basketball shorts, a tee shirt, and some fresh J's, he had to be about 6'4 200lbs, dark with a pretty smile. After discovering that the batteries didn't work, he said that he would go and get some. I thought, oh I am not dressed like a sex kitten this guy is not coming back, but he did with the batteries, and he did beat me in the video game, but it was fun to just hang out with man and laugh, and kick it, without any sexual pressure. It was like he was my boyfriend and my boyfriend was my cut buddy. So after a lot of heavy flirting, eventually we ended up having sex, he had this dick that was thick, long and curved "to the left, to the left"...lol, but having sex with him, was like making love. He would start off gentle, then just beat it up for a minute, he knew what he was doing. I remember we broke my bed once...lol. It was fun and exciting, we would even make jokes during, we would meet for lunch, in the "love" motels, I would pass him and his girl friend on the street, and just look and smirk. But, it was NO DRAMA, we would meet, he was a total gentleman, we both just wanted sex from each other, we both had other people, he was really straight forward, and he did what he said he was going to do when he said he was going to do it. We both had decent jobs, so he wasn't trying to get any money from me, because he had his own. I just liked the way he handle himself, he was coming to the states last summer, and contacted me via e-mail, if I wasn't pregnant, and mad as hell, at the time I would have gotten up with him. I keep saying that I want a husband, but at this point, and with taxes being the way they are, I can just get me a cut buddy or two or three, and chill out. I know men cheat, they think they are the only ones that get tired of the same old sex. Like there are things I would do with/ for my boyfriends that I would not do with someone who has not made at least a verbal agreement. Like even with my daughter's father, since he couldn't make up his mind "what it was" between him and I, I made up my mind to not do certain things in the bedroom, obviously we did enough, but I was not as open with him as I could have been. I couldn't be, I don't think his ego would have been able to handle it, plus he liked being in control so I let him. It could have gone a lot easier, if he was honest. Like I have a girlfriend back home, I don't want anything but sex, none of the mind games, no spending the night, no talking about our past or even getting to know each other on that level. Just jokes and sex. No dates, no mind games, no emotional ties on my part. I remember in the beginning I didn't ask any questions regarding family, or past or anything and after sex this guy would talk and talk and talk, and I remember thinking, this guy must have no one to talk to, because he is bearing his soul and all I want to do it sleep. We had sex and I didn't even know his first name, why because I didn't care? He said he was going out with the boys, and some other stuff but all I could think about was why is telling me this let's just have fun please, you inviting me in complicates things, and I didn't pay attention to his bull with tramps at work, because I had a boyfriend, and that fool was enough drama for me.  My boyfriend was acting up, I was lonely, and horny, and tipsy, and he was being aggressive, and just saying all of the right things, and I needed a release, and the whole time I was thinking, damn I cheated on my boyfriend again, shit my hole is going to be torn up and I am going to visit my boyfriend tomorrow, oh well my boyfriend's dick is bigger than this guys so he won't notice...do all Africans go a fuck school, because I swear my boyfriend does it the same way only  rougher...lol. I laugh now, but these were my thoughts as I was cheating on my boyfriend again...Deshawn, and now this guy....but Deshawn was a lot less trouble, he needs to open school for these fools out here. Anyway, after it all I know that I am not going to be faithful, I don't see the point. I tried it more than once, and it didn't work, when I was cheating I was getting all of my needs met, and was never empty handed or horny for that matter. I miss Deshawn. Now I know, so once I get a job, get my daughter squared away, get rid of this baby fat  I'm going back to the old me, keep five on deck and rotate them as needed, discreetly. Just give me the dick and let the girlfriends/wives deal with the bullshit, I've had my share.