Morning thoughts....

It's 0645 on a weekday morning and there are so many things going though my mind. The first question is how did I get here? My daughter is 5 months old, and she is growing everyday right before my eyes, I know that by her 7th month I will be working somewhere. I was thinking that maybe I should watch Joyce Meyers or read my devotional (I did read it), for inspiration, and this is my way of talking to God, sort of...I am so horny, it seems that after many months of being so angry that sex didn't cross my mind, having a baby, and the insertion and removal of a birth control device (due to painful side effects), my hormones are in balance, and everything in that area is back to where it should be, except my flabby stomach...lol. I thought about it, and then I look at my situation, and I think the best thing to do is just wait some more, sex will only complicate things. Plus even though I am an adult, I still can't do it my parents house. And with whom it has been awhile so I would like for it be good, sometimes I think I should have just married my ex, after I confessed to being unfaithful, he wanted to work it out, but I felt that if I was being unfaithful already there was no need to commit, I wasn't ready. I am not sure I will ever be ready. , but I am ready to get out of here, I was trying to avoid going to New York City, because that is no place to raise a child, they tend to turn out rude and fast, and materialistic no matter how much time you spend with them, and since I will be working and my family is here that leaves the door open for too much. Upstate is too damn cold, in a couple of moments of desperation I applied to some jobs there, and got them too, but my parents had a hissy fit. So I turned those down. I have been looking for government jobs due the steady schedule and benefits, but I have not been successful yet, but I will try again soon. I didn't want to move again, but honestly, I can't stand this cold weather, so if something comes up further south, I am going.  My poor little baby is going to sweat her butt off, but the way I have her bundled up here she sweats anyway. But, I have been here for 8 months, and although I know that not many people can take that much time off from work, and I know that is a blessing that I'm able to spend that time with my child, it is time for her to get socialized. She has only had one cold, and I am happy about that. And next week I am going to take her to get her ears pierced, which is perfect timing because my parents will be gone to Vegas, so they will not be here when she is crying ( they don't have as much patience as I do. ) Well, let me go enjoy what little quiet time I have before my little pee pee pot wakes up....she's so cute :)