Funky mood...

I am not sure why but, I am in a funky (Stank) mood today. It was warm for March, and  tried everything to cheer myself up, but I am not sure what it is. It's not hormones, the red dot sale is over. The baby is behaving, in fact she is asleep early, I thank God for that because I need the quiet. My parents are not acting out of the normal, my father didn't even complain about the salad I prepared for dinner, he made a joke about me hinting that he was fat,even. I am toying with the idea of going raw, not just in my previous sex life...lol,  but food wise. Just to be healthier, not to mention to drop this baby weight as well. Maybe that's it. Since I have changed my diet maybe I am going through a junk food withdrawal, that and the fact that every time I try to search for a job, my efforts are blocked. I have tried several different web sites in terms of uploading my resume. I had a contract position in the works before the sequestration, maybe God is trying to tell me something. Either way, and I know I am not suppose to go visit a seer according to the Bible, but I think that I am going to pay her a visit, to make sure that there is not someone other than the Almighty, and myself trying to block my efforts. I do believe that their are people that wish to do others harm in a spiritual realm. It sounds weird, but I know what I feel. I know what I dream, and it is difficult to explain without sounding totally crazy, but it's not like alot of people actually read this anyway. I believe that as long as I place No other God before the Almighty then I am protected, but that doesn't mean that people, spirits will not try. As a child I used to have dreams, after my grandmother pasted she came to me in a dream. Asked about my mother, and told me to tell her that everything was going to be alright. I wasn't afraid at the time, but as I got older I didn't want to have dreams anymore, the whole ordeal frightened me. I used to be afraid of the dark, and tried to stay awake for as long as possible. 

Before I knew the sex of my child (I wanted a boy badly), but I had a dream of a pretty little baby girl dressed in yellow licking her tongue out at me, and I remember what she looked like vividly, and that's exactly how my little girl looks. The last time I went for a reading, I ended up reading the seer. I am not a trained seer, and it freaked me out, I wanted to learn more about my gift, but she wanted me to train to be this "priestess" in this African religion but I told her it was against my religion, as it is. I told her that God and God alone would have to teach me or lead me to develop my "gift", if it is  His will. But, I'm not going through any rituals or sacrificing any animals. I even called my ex, and he said "don't do it, don't participate in any ceremonies. Those people will drain you dry" in his Nigerian accent.  So I decided not to meet with her "mentor", I didn't have a good feeling about the whole thing, plus I didn't want to join something being totally ignorant of whom/what they were worshiping (anything other than God, is the devil). But, I did learn somethings, about myself, and why I behave the way I do, it has alot to do with "my gift". I am a huge skeptic ,but there are things she knew that only God and myself knew, so she was the real deal, but I felt that she was a bit off, scattered. Like she didn't have control, and she was being lead many different ways, and I like order. I like calmness. She told me that I didn't like to be around a crowd of people which is true. I remember, at my previous jobs there were these potlucks, and I thought it was because they were cooking shrimp (I am deathly allergic) but I would always have to leave the room, because there would be this strange off feeling, I used to joke about it the whole place being evil. There was even a sign on the front door, warning of snakes....lol. But, I have always been reclusive, I never like or need alot of attention, I would rather be in the background doing me. I don't like to live in big cities, she said it was because of my gift, and since I don't know how to shield myself , I am open to alot of spirits or some thing like that. I am not sure, I figured it was just that I liked my space, which I do , and more people = more problems. And the people I do let in, crush my poor little feelings so I would rather not be bothered. Either way, she was right. Which is why I don't want to move to the city. But I will see. I will see her soon, I hope she doesn't have any bad news.....