Moments

I have come to realize that lucky for us that we don't remember every second of everyday, we remember the important moments. Like I remember the very moment my daughter was born, and even though I had the epidural, I could still feel the pressure, and I will never forget that. I also remember being so amazed that once she was in my arms, I didn't want her out of my sight, and that her life was worth all the pain (emotional and physical). She is so big now, 7 months later and attempting to walk (with assistance). That time just pasted so quickly, she is growing yet I still have that baby weight...ha ha ha. In two months or less, I will be working again, I am excited about that, it took awhile, but I believe that I am ready to fight decay with a smile, again. I am ready to live with The Holy Spirit, myself and my daughter only...ready to re-establish a routine. I remember so many moments, but I hold on the good ones, I write because I tend to forget the bad, and that's a good thing for me, but when it comes to people, that can be a bad thing as well, because if I allow them back into my life, I can end up repeating the same old story. It has taken awhile but I am learning that I can forgive, forget, and keep people away for my own safety, and be perfectly guilt free.  But anyway, I remember moments, and those that I don't I write down, I have on tape, which I love, because taping moments show it all, no lies. I don't know how to edit, so whatever is on the tape, is how it was at that moment in time. It is so funny that while I am doing things I have no idea of why, but later on it all makes sense. Like for example, a gave a  then companion a Christmas gift of a Sade CD, because earlier during one of his late night rambling sections, he mentioned that he had that CD and he would play a song for his daughter to fall asleep too, but he had since misplaced it. But, when I gave him the CD, he told me to keep it for my own daughter. Now at the time, I was pregnant with my daughter and didn't know it. I don't play it for her at all, but when I look at that Sade CD I remember that moment, it is like a movie flashback, foreshadowing my future. It seems like it happened only a short time ago...