Light

So, I have been the fog about where I should settle, what I should do, when I should begin to work? All of these questions have been on my mind daily, so I have been frustrated. I finally went to go see the "seer" and I know now (after much needed prayer), that she may hear "spirits" but they are not from God, so I will not be getting anymore "readings". That doesn't mean that, she is all bad, however she has allowed herself to be influenced by things, I'd rather not deal with. I have enough evil people trying to bring me down, I don't need any more evil spirits in my life. Her mentor, suggested that I go to church, and I did, after some time in prayer, I felt better, and things began to clear up. And the more I pray the clearer my path is laid out before me. I have been fighting it for a long time, but it is time to let my anger go. I'm not saying that I will not have bad days, but people are moving forward everyday, my baby is six months old, and she has little teeth now. She is a pretty little thing, she looks so much like her father it pains me to look at her sometimes, and her favorite word is dada, but she is all mine, and both of our blood runs through her veins. And she is so happy. She smiles when I sing, I am not sure if it is smiling or laughing, but she seems to like it. And just music in general she likes. She has the biggest eyes, and I am happy that she is here. I probably would have had a nervous break-down if I didn't have her. God gave me this gift, how insulting would it be for me to give it back to Him without even experiencing the joy and love she brings me. Yes, I was and still am at times angry with her father for leaving, but not for me, more for her, but my anger towards him is only affecting me, so I have to just say to hell with it. And focus on my little bundle of joy.

 I am not going to rush getting back to work, bills will get paid when they get paid. I am just going to chill, I am tired of crying, and stressing over people or things which I have no control over. Things are starting to get better.