Little Girl.......

So when I was pregnant, I was so angry. I mean to the point, that I had to move to keep myself from losing my daughter, and to prevent me from going to jail for attempted murder (lol)...I laugh now, but the thought crossed my mind more than twice, those hormones are no joke, plus I wanted to have my child with my friends and family with in close distance. I remember when she was in the womb and I was upset, she would move around and kick, just to remind me to either calm down or go to sleep, and as soon as I did, she would relax. Emotional is too weak of a word to describe my mental state while pregnant, I was talking with my assistant, and I had to apologize to him for my behavior during my pregnancy, I almost made him (a grown man) cry on a couple of occasions, but it was not him I was angry with. I was nasty towards him and others. My mother, father, and brothers told me that I was down right mean during my pregnancy. I try to stay to myself as much as possible when I get in my angry mood, but when living with family that's next to impossible. So now my beautiful girl is here, and of course she looks like him, but acts like me. I should have named her Stubborn Mean. Because she is....I think it is okay, because I am the same way, if it is not funny she will not laugh, she will look away if she is not interested, and if she doesn't want it, especially food, she will spit it out, then say a couple of baby words, and give this look. It makes me laugh. I don't do  "baby talk", but I will talk to her like she can understand, that way she can pick on the language quickly. I'm surprised that she can say "da-da" already, six months is early, but she is a little sponge ( of course my mother taught her that, because if  it was up to me it would have been ANY other word, but at least she talking so that's all that matters), so I have to be very careful what I say, watch and listen to, and since she is with me  23 hours out of the day, I have control over what she is exposed to. So it is for the most part whatever I say (family says), and a healthy tv diet of Disney Jr, and in the car either Gospel Music ,  1960-1990's  R&B LOVE (not sex) songs, Sermons....(I listen everyday because I don't go to church like I should) News radio, classical, and some pop (I like Ne-yo especially that let me love you song, and the thump of club music when I am sleepy, Bruno mars) she seems to like that too, but none of that 36Mafia mess, bands will make her dance...What the hell?, And the other day I heard this "Gold all in my watch, song" I am getting old, because I can't believe people that call that mess music, it seems the more foolish, the more play it gets. Back to my point, she has a personality, sassy, but I am at the point now where I have the patience, and understanding to tolerate it, and mold her into a young lady( she already crosses her legs at the ankle, it's so cute, she can bearly sit up, but she crosses those legs when she does, and I have to remember that I do the same, even now while I am typing this my legs are crossed at the ankles..lol), we may come to blows during those teenage years, but I will remind her that she may have a daughter one day, and I will not babysit....lol. I figure as long as I teach her to be a responsible, respectable, clean (there is nothing worse than a junkie, nasty woman), kind and loving person then my job as a parent is done. She is, and will remain to be  very fortunate, but not spoiled.  I don't spare that rod. Well my bundle of joy, laughs, and stubbornness is fast asleep, and I should take advantage of this time and do the same.