Mate

Every now and then I have my moments when out of nowhere it seems that I am really emotional, and it is usually on a Sunday morning. Like today I was going to the grocery store, and listening to some R&B, and just suddenly I have this overwhelming feeling of sorrow, so I am driving and crying for a little bit, and then I manage to pull myself together, and continue with my day which consisted of cooking lunch and dinner for eight people, and cleaning in between, and watching my little one, and cleaning butts, and washing hands of my nieces and nephew. It was a busy day,and honestly after being in the house all week with just me and my daughter, I appreciated the company, and I didn't mind being busy because it helped the day past quicker. So, it was my labor of love. But, sometime during the day, while my baby was taking a nap before the children arrived, I had time to reflect on the week without the parents, and I felt this sense of longing. Then a thought came to mind, that when I begin to work, I am going to need help, the kind of help that is dependable. Then I begin to miss being in a relationship, I thought how nice it would be just to have someone to watch TV with, or how nice it would be to have someone to take the baby and give her a bath while I finished doing the dishes, and cleaning the kitchen. My friend is urging me to go on this on-line dating web-site, but I believe that God has to send the next man, and I am not going to search for him, or put on a show. He has to be able to love me just as I am right now. With me being unemployed, with my extra baby weight, with my ashy legs, and granny panties. And I say that because this is me right now, of course all of that can and will be changed, but if I know that he can look through all of that and still see beauty, and still love me deeply, then he is a candidate. I'm sure he is coming, In the midst of all of the company, I was just yearning for my mate, and it was not sexual in nature, it was a gut feeling. I'll give it time, he'll come along.