Now

It will never be like it was. I spend a lot of time thinking, sometimes so much that I have to put on some music (either jazz or classical, because neither one has vocals) just to quiet my thoughts. But, tonight was looking through some photos, and it came to mind that it that moment is gone. All we have is now, it can never be like it was, and it made me a little grateful that I didn't behave how I felt.

Sometimes the hardest and the best thing to do is remain as calm as you can, and be still. Say nothing, don't react to negative energy, and just to continue to do the right thing, no matter how much you feel like a sucker. There have been times when I wanted to shoot someone in the knee caps, but thank God I didn't act on that thought. Thank God I didn't show out, because then I was thinking about my future, and it has arrived, and I may not have an exciting drama filled story to tell, but I do know, that I am not in jail, lol, for doing something foolish, and I do know that crying is better for my soul than drinking or smoking, or lying to myself, and I do know that if I didn't go through all of those emotions in the past, I would not be a better (wiser, more compassionate) person today.